it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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