whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
