It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
