I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
