She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
