yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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