Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
