I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
