I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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