Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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