Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
