Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
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Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
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one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I have post one night stand depression
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