Don't you send me to vm
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We are two peas in an std pod
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
