sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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