You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
