ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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