I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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