"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
