Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
