yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
