Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
