grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
