I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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