take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
