the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
