I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
