That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize