Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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