is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
