She's JV to your varsity
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
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