I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize