Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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