i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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