finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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