Define "chronic" masturbator.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
