3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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