Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
