Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
