If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
