so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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