Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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