I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
