I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
