Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
