just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
