well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
