Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
