I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
