Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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