You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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