What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
