i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize