yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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