I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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