Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
