I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
