Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
