lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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