The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
