Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
