Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
