It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize