Porn is love you can see.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
