babies were throwing up all over the place
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
