Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize